Monday, December 27, 2004

Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace

The holidays are over, and I'm pooped. From this past Wednesday through Saturday, I've been floating on hydrocodone and Flexirel, and now I have laryngitis (a result of the pain meds drying out my mouth) and I've not yet assimilated back into normal day-to-day life.

I have an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It's like a weight sitting on my shoulders. Heavy thoughts. I don't want to go into great detail, but Saturday night really kicked me into a funk. I think I need to have a Boxing Day for my thoughts. Some need to be thrown out to make room for new, improved baggage. Thank goodness for Michael helping me out and dealing with my whining after the car accident (this past Tuesday night) and for my friend Brianne being there to listen to my venting and for emotional support, saving me from falling into a total state of disrepair.

I'm thinking of starting a new weblog entitled "The Chronicles of Jennifer W.K." or "It Hurts to Grow Up (and everybody does)." It would start with a brief year-by-year account of each of my 24 years, then delve into more detail of past events and lessons learned. I doubt anyone would seriously want to read it, but it might work as a form of self-therapy.

I need to do something. Doing nothing is getting me nowhere.

I think I need to have an honest moment. I'm pissed off and I'm hurt. Being pissed off and hurt doesn't make Jennifer a happy camper. I think I'm taking too much of it out on myself. Yes, I've made several mistakes, and I haven't always been a good person in every situation I've ever been in. I need to deal with that. I do not, however, need to confuse that with my current state. These things are separate and must be kept separate. It's like the separation of Church and State. I need to make a clear division. Maybe that will help me to climb out of my funk and see things more clearly.

Yes, if it were only that simple.

posted by Jennifer at 12/27/2004 12:40:00 PM

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