Saturday, March 19, 2005

faces look ugly when you're alone

I've determined that I am completely clueless when it comes to making friends. It's been bothering me lately, especially considering that I'd like to keep in touch with some folks from work when I move away to New Jersey this coming Winter, and I'm realizing that can't and won't happen unless I make the extra effort to hang out with these people outside of the Work Environment into Friend Zone.

It's not been very apparent via my blogging, but I have pretty intense social anxiety. I don't think it would be considered a "disorder," since it doesn't often interrupt my day-to-day life, but that may just be because I've learned to work around it and accept it to a degree. I don't know. But I'm not on any sort of medication, and I don't think I need to be. I just need to learn how to get to know people.

People fascinate me. I obsess over them. I like to observe and listen to them. I want to go out for drinks when they're happy, take care of them when they're sick, and help them feel better when they're down.

But it's difficult for me to get to know people past the surface, because I can get to know them, but I can't bring myself to call them or to make plans with them. I just can't. They're beyond my reach.

Sometimes, I'm just so lonely.

posted by Jennifer at 3/19/2005 08:12:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i feel your pain. only 3 people talk to me at work, and one is my supervisor, who has to. social anxiety sucks!

3/19/2005 08:23:00 PM  

Blogger Jennifer said...

...and people wonder why I'm completely infatuated with my kitty cats. :^)

3/21/2005 02:21:00 PM  

Blogger The Kraken said...

You wouldn't be so infatuated if you knew what they said behind your back...

3/22/2005 02:14:00 AM  

Blogger Tickles_Tapeworm said...

Animals > People

3/22/2005 11:53:00 PM  

Blogger The Kraken said...

As is often the case: Tapeworm = correct

3/23/2005 09:20:00 AM  

Blogger The Kraken said...

Well, after last night, I think we know what cures Jennifer's social anxiety: rock and roll. Electric Eel Shock!

3/25/2005 08:15:00 AM  

Blogger Jennifer said...

And how! It's amazing what a Heavy Metal Party can do for a gal. Double peace!

3/25/2005 11:21:00 AM  

Blogger The Kraken said...

Electric Eel Shock! From Tokyo Japaaaaaannnn!! Give me suicide rock and roll! Give me suicide rock and roll!

3/25/2005 08:50:00 PM  

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