Tuesday, October 24, 2006

tears of a clown

My email to Hewlett-Packard tech support:

webform_submit_time : Thu Oct 19 12:30:55 EDT 2006
problem_area : color and print quality problems
model_number : Deskjet 1220C
problem_description : Print outs (color and grayscale) output with ink spots all over them. The last 11" x 17" print had at least 10 orange spots randomly scattered over it. The spots are approximately .125" to .25" in diameter, and they are usually bright orange or magenta. The printer has done this sporatically since I've had it, but it is getting worse as it gets older.
trouble_shooting : I have tried aligning and cleaning the cartridges, with no results. Also, I recently purchased new color and black cartridges. The black cartridge is approximately 1 month old, and the color cartridge is approximately 1 week old.
setting_changes : Nothing has changed, however, the printer has always sporatically misbehaved, just not to this extent.
tech_skill : intermediate

H-P's response? Read on...

Hello Jennifer,
I understand your D1311 is printing color spots on your print outs. The D1311 does not support 11 X 17 the largest paper supported is 8 X 10
Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.
This should resolve the issue. If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.

HOW THE FUCK does this resolve my issue? Hi, I know you said you are having trouble with your 1220C, and you specifically mentioned a problem on your latest print which happened to be on 11" x 17" paper... BUT this other model of printer - which you do not even own, by the way - does not print 11" x 17."

What the hell?

That's like me saying, "Hi, I'm having trouble driving my car, because the front driver side tire is flat. Would you please help me air it up?" And then, you say, "Well, motorcycles don't have driver-side tires. They only have two tires. Have a nice day!"

::shakes head in disappointment::

At least I didn't tell them my tech skill was advanced. Their response would have probably been WAY over my head, then. ha!

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posted by Jennifer at 10/24/2006 07:35:00 PM

Blogger Lux said...

Tell me about it. I've learned to act like a complete idiot when it comes to calling tech support - basically because you have to move down to the level of whomever is on the other end of the phone/inbox.

I'm always rolling my eyes when they suggest trying something that I absolutely know is not the solution, but they make you go through it anyway.

10/26/2006 10:46:00 PM  

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