I haven't been here much lately. I feel like this isn't really my outlet anymore. I've been steadily tucking thoughts away to share here, but then they sink into the abyss that is my mind, never to return.
The dog outside is howling.
I took one of my earrings out this morning. Those of you who know me could probably guess which one. It's the one that's been bothering me for the past 2 years. It's significant for me to remove it, due to its history and the fact that I've never let a piercing grow over before. It feels like I'm giving up, and in a way, I am. Not in a negative way, though.
O'Malley's in my lap purring.
My back has been hurting for the month of October. I broke down and saw a chiropractor, and it's getting better now. When I went in, he felt the tension in my back muscles, and he asked if I was stressed. I told him, "Not that I'm aware of." He looked at me as if he was going to suggest I see a shrink instead of a chiropractor, and I probably would have broken down bawling right there if he had. Which probably would have only reinforced the shrink thought.
All this talk of stress stresses me out.
I have tomorrow and Monday off work. And I know if I don't keep myself busy, I'll end up driving myself crazy thinking of things that shouldn't bother me and random thoughts that sadden me. Maybe it's the change of the seasons, but I've been squarely in the doldrums lately. I wish I could stop and ask someone for directions out.
Crying for no reason only makes me sadder.
My friend Kathy and I visited an iridologist/herbalist this past Monday. It was interesting. He is Amish, so we had to get there by 7:00 a.m. to be fitted into the schedule. And it was an hour drive to get there, and 2 hours home (since we stayed overnight at Kathy's dad's house). The iridologist told me I'm stressed.
Maybe I am stressed.
It's not a matter of needing someone to talk to right now; it's a matter of needing to talk. Or maybe it's a matter of not knowing what to say. "I'm frustrated" seems to be my favorite recurring phrase lately. Or "it frustrates me." Or a combination thereof.
The dog stopped howling.
Labels: observations, self-assessment
posted by Jennifer at 11/08/2007 05:50:00 PM