Wednesday, August 16, 2006

things we said today

I haven't written much lately. I've been feeling a touch exposed here lately, but I have to stop and realize that this is the internet, and truly any Joe (or Jane) Schmoe can freely read whatever they please. I know this. Somehow, I allowed myself the illusion of privacy for a moment there, though. It's pretty easy sometimes. Just pull down the blinds, ignore the StatCounter, and vent your little heart out. And that's exactly what I intend to do now. Except that my words will be veiled in slightly thicker blinds.

Moving along.

It's done. I'm done. We're done. (Insert sigh of relief here.)

It was a long day. I am grateful to those who chose to help me through this day ("sign here," "oops forgot to put a date here," "it'll be okay," "this is what you need to fill out"). It's funny how no one's been helpful till the day it all actually matters. So much for saving face. At least it's done. That's all that is important to me right now.

It's a mixture of frustration, anger, sadness, embarrassment, and relief that is washing out of my eyes right now.

Soon, it will all distill into something I can make sense of, sort out, and file away as a memory.


posted by Jennifer at 8/16/2006 08:51:00 AM

Blogger DJ Shovelpants said...

Right with ya, Jennifer. As a divorcee myself, I know how it's hard, yet freeing in a way to just get...it...over with.

It's strange. I look back at that life and it all starts to sort of haze over, like I was never really part of it in the first place.

Then I look at my little kid and wife and know that without having gone through all the crap of my previous life/marriage, I'd never be where I am now.

Which is to say, I wouldn't change a thing.

8/22/2006 12:07:00 PM  

Blogger Jennifer said...

Thanks, DJS. It helps to know someone out there can identify with the simultaneous sadness and relief.

I am definitely glad to be where I am now, and I am glad your situation worked out for the best, too.

Of course, it didn't help that when I wrote him to tell him about the divorce being final, the response I got was (and I quote), "Well, uh, it was good being with you. You know, until all the shit happened."

8/24/2006 08:33:00 AM  

Blogger Penny said...

I have to laugh at your ex's response. It's about as honest and kind as a hurt/confused man can be.

I am happy for you, Jennifer. I am happy that you are free to move forward and be who you want to be, with who you want to be, where you want to be.

You will be fantastic.


8/24/2006 01:47:00 PM  

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