Just because it feels like the thing to do right now, here's my current assessment of myself... negatives and positives.
1. I apologize. For everything. I'm sorry, that wasn't a complete sentence. Oops. There I go again. I have no idea where this behavior came from or when it really arose. It's just come to a head lately, it seems. The other day, I apologized for apologizing for something. Gah.
2. I'm afraid of bugs and people. I gasp, spaz, or both gasp and spaz when I see a bug, particularly crickets or buzzy bumblebees, yellow jackets, or wasps. No matter how hard I try to control it, I still do it. And then I apologize for it. I don't gasp and spaz at people so much, but I do usually refrain from going out by myself. I'm working on it.
3. Speaking of gasping, I randomly gasp when I'm a passenger in the car. If a car gets a little close, I'll gasp, which usually makes things worse, because the driver will jump and swerve thinking something's terribly wrong with me. On long car trips, if I sleep in the car, I will randomly wake up, sit straight up in the seat, and gasp and/or shout, "oh my god!" Whence, I immediately fall back asleep. Again, this usually spurs an apology.
4. It's in my nature and my genes to always think I'm right. I'm working on this, though.
5. If I do anything wrong, I beat myself up for it for ages. If someone attacks me, I tend to lay down and die. Or feign dead. I am too compassionate to hit back. Usually.
6. As sensitive as I am, I usually don't notice when I do something that hurts someone's feelings until it's brought to my attention. Whence, I proceed to beat myself up for it.
7. I'm way too sensitive. I let things get under my skin that shouldn't.
8. I don't like to bathe, and I make no secret of it. I do, however, apologize for it frequently.
9. I procrastinate when there are things I really need to be doing. It's not that I don't want to do those things that need to be done, I just can't find the motivation to do them.
10. I favor most animals over most people.
1. I favor most animals over most people. Animals are innocent and beautiful, and people are just walking baggage and emotions. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, family, and most everyone else I meet, really. But, animals will always hold that special favor in my heart.
2. I try to do what I know to be right, in the short term or the long run.
3. I learn from my mistakes.
4. I have a much harder time thinking of good qualities about myself than I did making the list of negative ones. Maybe that means I'm selfless? Or maybe that should be added to the negative list.
5. There is beauty in things others discard or don't notice, and I see this. I revel in it.
6. I've been told I'm insightful and intelligent. I like to believe this.
7. I take pride in my work, and I do it well. When my confidence fails me, I come back to this basic pride.
8. I love a lot.
9. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is advice I believe to be fundamentally right.
10. I like to play. I like to frolic. And I LOVE swings and hammocks.
That was fun.
And now, it's time to get to work.
posted by Jennifer at 4/03/2007 09:44:00 AM