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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

hole in my heart

Something's missing. It's time. I've got none. And when I do have a little, I sit, stare, and wonder what it is I'm forgetting to do.

Days pass by filled with work that has lost most of its meaning for me. I've been feeling surly, but I hope it's not as noticeable to everyone else as it is to me. I really don't want to be surly.

I throw myself into whatever it is I'm working on, though. Say what you will, but I am diligent.

Diligence is a close cousin of obsession/compulsion.

Is this depression or just the days getting shorter and the nights getting longer?

I still see a light up ahead, but it seemed so much closer, warmer, and less ominous this time last year.

This Xmas, we'll be without both of our mothers and our sweet Malley-san. The world feels so empty now, even though it is still filled with so much and so many.

It just isn't the same.

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posted by Jennifer at 12/10/2008 05:54:00 PM



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