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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

My hormones must hate me.

I have this feeling of despair creeping up through my body. It's starting at my heart and spreading throughout my body, flowing through my arms into the center of my palms. I don't know why I'm getting this sensation, but it is a familiar one.. too familiar. The last time I felt it, I cried on and off uncontrollably for three days. Needless to say, it wasn't pretty.

There is probably a reason that I get this way. It's just the time of year. I love the Fall, but the beginning of it is always this way for me because of things that have happened in past Falls. It jars my memory about things in my past that I don't like to think about. Forgive and forget is easier said than done. I almost think it's harder to forgive myself than to forgive other people.. and part of me doesn't want to forget. So, I remember these things and I torture myself over them from time to time. There are certainly much more healthy habits out there that I should try to acquire.

So, how can I stop this feeling? Well, certainly not by focusing on it like I am now. I should stop.

posted by Jennifer at 9/14/2004 12:15:00 PM



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